I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
