he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
