did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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