I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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