how can u be prego again
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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