oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
