She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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