i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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