i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
