If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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