Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
