I need help removing her.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
