why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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