It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
