its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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