Plan B is the new Plan A
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
