david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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