yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
