You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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