This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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