don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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