Screwed.edu
we made out on top of his cat.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
