i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
