Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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