For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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