all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
