just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
