Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize