I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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