Non-Jews are for practice
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
