Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
