He is an equal opportunity slut.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
