But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
