Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
