It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
