So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
