so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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