I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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