I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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