My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Terrible idea I love it
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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