we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
