I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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