She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
