You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
NoShamevember. You game?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
