in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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