jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
