She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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