I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
