I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
