God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
