I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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