it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
