If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
