Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
