cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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