Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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