Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
