Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
