You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
