try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
