I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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