I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
