how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize