After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
